Sweated it on the driving lesson in the morning. Legs won't obey.
Granma asks whether I had cut my hair, can't see any difference. And I cut so much.
At school, diša holds a speech. Live pee, but black humor. I anticipate a scything.
Troskok ditched us, not our classmaster anymore, got the first three instead, still they forced her to hold classes to us for the year. New classmaster is Marko Bozon. Bullshit from him too, and the location is a fuckup redux: it's the smaller classroom next to the one we had two years ago, on the path between the offices (director's and secretary's) and the staff room. I had hundred sweats, nausea, headache, nerves.
Which is why I forgot about Marko Bozon's opening words, until Mima reminded me, 47 years later: „I don't know whether I'm your punishment, or you're mine. From now on you're under surveillance“. Which he did, at times, by coming to our classroom during the long recess, to tell us to go down to the [school]yard, which we'd do by forming a single file, prison style.
The autumn cuntery. Then in may-june I went to school in slippers, footed the building barefoot, had much more hair than now, and no big deal. Now since we're the IV5pp ("pod prismotrom" - under surveillance), even this much is too much and they don't like it.
Went home, pumped up the amps, first "Ivo Lola" then Mlinarec then Mladi Levi. I tried to sing with it to scrape my throat - she thinks I sound really well with hoarse voice. Nerves I calmed, the rest remained.
I met her at the disco, her gang just got the tickets and were going in. I got mine and chased them. I ask her whether she's in good mood.
- I am
- that's great, gimme some, I had a half of a nervous breakdown today
- take all, but why, you did yourself a just fine haircut
- if they'd only believe you...
- you were nicer with the hair
- that's what I was afraid of, will you love me when I cut my hair
- doesn't matter, I know you had [it], irrelevant
- I know but I thought what if it isn't like [it was] before
Then gradually she improved my mood. We didn't squeeze into our corner because the common cigarettes were with Mariška. Found her, she had a couple and then we went to Sleš and poked fun with him. In front of his box the permanent fixtures are the two young girls, already famous, one small but busty, no older than 14, wears a short thin white sweater with nothing under it...
Then we moved to our place, then let's switch sides(... 29 words...). Then, on the way, talked about the plans for the future, perhaps we could go with Vanji next year to india. Or to Boom 74. Bah, mom wouldn't let her.
Second of september. To the club, closed. Vanji came and we caulked the door. Something about that avant garde art group of his.
Arrived downtown too early in the evening. Stood with the gang - Vanji, Eči, Živa, Kid. They made me recite diša's speech.
(... 86 words...)
Met her at the traffic light at Venac*. Fiddled with Mariška about cash a bit, then fished Vanji to see about him giving her a lift to Novi for the entry exam on tuesday. Spoke hungarian, I understood nothing.
In the big park our bench was taken, then waited for the second one to become free. And it did...
Tuesday, 4th. Marko Bozon rapid fire bullshit. Each break he comes to oversee us, tells us to go down to the yard for the big breaks. For maths Radoja is gone, became a programmer, we got Đ. now. Descriptive [geometry], Ž.B., bespectacled, thin and beardless, many think he's a student. Speaks softly and isn't a case of pedagogy, mostly lets Staša or me or whoever draw on the blackboard what we need to do for the day. But he brings the hungarian book with anaglyphic images, green/orange eyeglasses, so we can see it all in stereography, phenomenal. The russian pretends that she never was our classmaster. LML warns us to watch our backs, we are truly under surveillance.
Thursday, listening to the Donovan that Rudolf sent again, this time it arrived whole. They intercepted the postman. In the evening everyone at Jozda's, pneumonia and birthday. She was looking for me downtown, didn't find me.
We met on friday.
- may I congratulate?
- I'm hundredfourtysixth on the list
- and they take hundredfifty?
- yes
- and I guess you don't feel like standing with my company
- correct
(Kid was about hundredfiftyseventh or hundredsixtysecond; he pulled his papers and went to Belgrade to study pharmacy; it turned out that some bighead's kid was 153rd so they accepted the next ten candidates more from the list. With two or three who also pulled their papers, he would have been accepted then. He passed, on pharmacy, the exams which would be recognized on medicine, into which he enrolled the next year, in Belgrade)
I picked my schoolbag and we went to disco. The crowd was sparse, we even found a table to sit at, then Mariška and the other two came by, then also Vanji, Eči and Kid, so Vanji and I discussed something (perhaps "does green color exist"?) and she got bored. Said it was a fine talk, just boring.
She's getting me used to beer. I don't drink it since the 07-VI-1970. incident. She's an academic citizen now. I was just about to introduce a rule whereby I escort it when I don't carry the bag, but she convinced me to start its enforcement with an exception. Alright, my treat...
We sat on the bank, fantasized abut travels and how nice it would be if we lived together for a while. Would we be bored. Her mood was excellent, I told her she finally arrived at what she really is. Well, mom asks c'mon what's the comedy about.
Saturday, 8th. Barely managed to find her in the disco, barely found Mariška first, said she went to leave the wine at Sleš. I got there and found a message in an empty beer bottle. Found her, we kiss up and it's all fine
- and where's the wine?
- you want to drink?
- well do you treat or not?
There we danced barefoot, I extinguished cigarette butts with the soles of my feet (yes, can do with heel, sweeping). Went to Sleš and took that wine (he had no idea it was there). Some couple in our place, we ask them to move a bit and offer them wine, and the bottle doesn't make circles, it makes eights and she is in the crossing, even though she had the end seat. Then she sat in my lap. Wine gone, gone the company. (... 43 words...) almost missed the midnight, when she was supposed to go home.
The rest of the week passed in nearly nothing. We were supposed to meet in Čurda for something, but then it turned out she can't go. Why now, problems with mom? Yeah... So what have you sinned this time? Grown up, that's what.
Then it turned she did go, so we didn't meet for two or three days.
Eleventh of september. A coup in Chile, Allende put down, Pinochet took over. Just when our sociology professor was all happy with the possibility of coming to socialism by peaceful means. Maybe, but the villains won't let it. Democracy is okay as long as they like the outcome of elections. She was visibly shaken during the class.
Decades later it was revealed as true what we knew right away, that this was orchestrated by Cia. And then, whenever anyone mentions eleventh of september, I'd pull out this year. Lest it be forgotten.
----
* I don't know anymore why that corner was called "Venac" (wreath, but there were several things in history and geography - some mountain tops are also 'wreaths' - which were called so). There was some supermarket there at the time; nowadays the whole building belongs to the museum, and that corner space is the gallery.
12-IX-2021 - 10-VII-2026