august 1974.: Vacation enforcement
On 27th of july we went out to disco, and she told me to say no more against her mom, for "all moms are selfish". And she's right, this time I'm not going to Borik of my own free will, but for being forced there. This is where I decided not to go at all. The parting was sad and hot, she cried, and I almost did too.
I made quite a scene at home, which ended in bare threats, the "for as long as you eat my bread" etc. In other words, fuck pedagogy, there's no reward, what neighbors say is much more important. Aaaaaalright, this will never be forgotten, thanks for the vote of confidence.
We took off some time in the night, and yes I did drive a part of the way. I specially remember the part when I got stuck between two bulgarian eighteenwheelers, who kept minimal distance. Managed to get out when I spotted the big parking lot at Spačvanska forest.
The big fight didn't end there, we hit it a few more times.
(Ilona with Aranka in their fića, somewhere in one of them tame west bosnian valleys)
I already wrote to hatters that I wouldn't be coming. All the same, when we got there I found Senn, Lajna (with mom), Mačka, Arie, Hans, and they were there for just three more days - they are mostly the july gang. The Lady stayed a little longer.
I went to the beach about every other day, had four beers every evening until mom started bitching about it, then drank nothing for at least a week, which she didn't like either, but what can she say this time? Should I ask my mom how much should I drink? Then thanks, no, I'd rather not. All in all I spent the vacation on silent strike. I won't be the entertainer here, I'm just the driver.
About two weeks in some kind of company gathered, some black dutch guy (from Aruba, adopted, managed not only to get some tan but also to peel, which got him to feel ashamed, didn't take good care of his heritage). Kept exchanging letters, was abreast with events at home. A couple of days before the end this guy and I started mixing potluck cocktails, and even had some success with it. So those last evenings had some shape, okay.
(Lajna sitting on Senn; the girl behind I remember by face but not name nor context... cute, though)
Those who knew me from before said I have changed, that I'm not the guy I used to be, and they liked me better before. Well better for you, I chose this.
The last evening he was gone and I concocted something without it, but there were no takers until I drank half myself. Wasn't that bad. Had a flash borrowed from someone, there are a few shots.
(the guy from Aruba and Aranka)
At some point during these last days granma suggested that Aranka and I could take fića and go home earlier than they. Almost took it, and even Ilona was sort of in favour of it, because she wanted to stay longer, had unused days of her annual [leave]. But no, Aranka and I would never, though getting home a few days earlier would have been great. And I saw the trick through, they were just measuring my reaction and I also caught a hint of a trap. Perhaps that was the plan behind, to have me hitched to her so my darling would be out of the picture. The scheme failed, we drove home as scheduled. But I didn't forget this attempt either. My granma is not above a little scheming herself.
The drive back was, luckily, unventful. I drove the last leg, and was very sleepy. The part after Novi I drove at the speed of my eyesight, which was just 40 km/h at times, my soul was asleep. Then we quickly unpacked just the roof and the cabin, not everything, and I took the car and went to find her. Fully awake, fatigue erased. She wasn't at home. Went to Mariška, she isn't at home either, just her brother and another guy fixing a fića, at 23:00. Roamed the possible streets and eventually spotted her, walking with some guy, no worries there, she kept him at more than arm's length. I parked in front of some building and she recognized me, left the guy without a word and ran to me. The guy stood there flabberghasted, unable to understand what was going on, stared at us for a minute or two, then waved off and left. Later we heard that Mariška too passed with her then guy while we stood there, we didn't notice. After a dozen minutes I remembered that the car is in the middle of a sidewalk and that people have to walk around us. Drove to the little forest behind the gas filling station and we left ourselves to ourselves. Wasn't anything much, I was too tired, but we were together and that mattered.
Had another great fight with mom on 18th, when she expressed doubt over what was my dear doing while we were away. If that's what it's all about (and it's not out of the question that this whole vacation was an attempt to drive a wedge between us, to hook me up with Aranka and unhook me from her - if that's it, she doesn't know me). Then dad prophesied that I'll get seriously fucked up some time because I don't respect the elders, if not before but in the vojska at least. Oh yeah, I see your wheeling and dealing, and that's something to respect? And then the crown argument, how can you so easily find agreement with people from around the world, and can't agree with your nearest. Well, I have nothing with them so it's easy, and with you I thought I could come to an agreement but now I see it doesn't work.
Just when this calmed down a bit, she arrived and we went to the swimming pool. When we came back, my folks had a siesta. (... 26 words...) someone yells from the gate - Vasilija and Ivanka came for the pictures. So okay we sat with them a while, the pictures were ready, everything okay... (... 10 words...)
In the evening went to "Vojvodina" movie to watch "Kužiš, stari moj" - which means it was like a silent movie. Don't know why they put domestic movies there all the time, when those somehow always hit the perfect combination where you can't understand a word. Domestic movies never had too much of a sound quality, but this was incredible. (... 16 words...) Told her what happened with mom. She thought she should bear at least a part of the blame but no, I said this was between me and them, just keeping you informed.
Had they let me stay at home none of this would have happened. Maybe, but it would have burst later. It comes from our position, we aren't materially independent, we have the liberty formally but only within set limits, so we don't have it. And when I want to start earning my own bread, it's just you keep learning and don't worry. The general social system for removing the young from the society. Give him what you think he wants, and then expect him to be satisfied, and if he isnt, demand that he be.
On 19th, I guess Eči was here. Developed some negatives. Convinced the cashier at the pool that I'm still not nineteen so I have the right to half price (2 dinars instead of 4) for a few more days, my birthday is on friday. "I'll be there" she said, and let me.
Next day she wouldn't believe me, had to pay 4. She passed for 2. Who's older here, eh?
In the evening went out to somewhere - Trpeza perhaps, or my place. (... 23 words...)
On 21st went everywhere around time, gave a blood sample, needed a medical for the Academy, photocopied documents, whatever. Showed my ID to the girl at the pool.
I wrote this much later, in a discussion with someone. Just pasting it here, as I remember the time was about now. I remember the car was the old škodilak, the location behind the other end of Lesnina, and the reason I was in a car there at the time completely forgotten.
Once I was driving out of a parking between residential buildings, and an old lady was getting to cross the driveway with her grandson, so I stopped and waited for them to pass. The kid was performing some sort of a tantrum (though I haven't seen kids do it nearly as often back tere) and the lady said something like "if you don't behave, this uncle will come and take you away". My windows were open and I heard her well - and she heard me as well, when I asked what wrong did I do to her, except for being patient and waiting for them to decide if they wanted to pass or not, what sort of racism is she preaching to the kid, what sound reason does she have to believe that the bearded guys are the bad guys and what sort of moral example does she set for the kid, etc etc... I shovelled the whole heap I received from her generation right back to her. A pleasure equal to the one when we accidentally caught one old lady stealing flowers from our lawn (it was on the street, between the pathway and the lane) and we gave her another speech on decency and being brought up properly. It was actually funny to be on the other side for a few moments :)
Mentions: Aranka Gnajs, Ariejan Verschoor (Arie), Borik, Endre Felbab (Eči), fića, Geraldine van Grijven (The Lady), Ilona Gnajs, Ivanka Stojančev, Lesnina, Melanija Merćep (Lajna), Novi Sad, Rosanne (Senn), škodilak, Trpeza, Vasilija Zajić, vojska, in serbian
9-I-2020 - 15-I-2026