20-I-1973.

Monday 15th passed as nothing. The marks at school are finalized, I'll have two threes pa šta onda play on thursday*. Listened to Floyds in the afternoon; CSN sound too restful.

On tuesday several classes were off - LML is absent, ŽGLJ was absent on wednesday, wholesale waste of time. In the afternoon Veca and Sneca came to take their records, just when I was listening. So it goes. Made a few shots with them, and of myself, the weather being quite nice before sunset, just when the last of the light shines straight from the gate to the garage. This is Veca and Sneca in just about their best edition, and I'd say the records are in the usual PRKB bag.

Around that time B.N. and Milica came (as a couple) with Dragana and we made some photos. Developed immediately, B.N. somehow had a blowdryer (or was he just operating mom's). The lighter stripe on top is not a lab error, it's the [anti]fucking chandelier which lit the ceiling and tops of the walls, and left the rest of the room in yellowish diffuse light. I hated it thoroughly.

These poses that Dragana held are typical of her, she couldn't do much different from that, what with her skirt being so short. My mom asked her whether she puts it on an umbrella to dry. Eh, too bad, so many times in front of my eyes, never under hand.

On thursday meeting of the newspaper staff, then had a class off and visited all the classes announcing (invitation to write for the newspaper). While waiting for the meeting to start, chatted with Vanji. Had some idea for a movie about two photographers, titled "Colleague, get lost". The meeting itself was nothing special.

Friday also passed nearly empty. Mom has found (where from, really) that Branka hasn't told her folks that we're off. When they ask, she bluffs, cries when alone. Was not what I intended. So it goes. Seems to be that I'm not the guy who has everything written on his face, how could she not notice, I was considering the move whole week.

At the show rehearsal, skelter. Hazim is simmering sociologist's daughter**. The lines he should recite begin with "I lie and keep thinking on you", and he keeps swapping the verbs.

Saturday, end of semester. Usually on 15th, but now 20th because of late start, reconstruction. Brought my whole family to the show. There I ended up in the technical team, a resounding name for porters. Had some fun with Hazim, G.M. (not a couple), D.K. and few others from IV₃, then went to Trpeza to have some dinner - wouldn't make it to Dom otherwise. After the fire they remodeled it a bit, the wardrobe was halved, the TV and pinball halls are now joined, the traces of fire are marked with lesonit and red lights. In the comforter hall now the stage is also space to dance, while the band's stage is now something smaller on the side. Lights are weaker than before. Branka was buzzing around, I was careful not to bump into her. Some blonde guy from the sixth class was on her, sometimes eagerly sometimes persistently, didn't look successful. She even approached me at some point, and it turned out she tried, or someone did, via a line going through Gorica and some of my parent's friends, to negotiate herself back to me. That line just dispersed my last doubts.

Tried with some petty blonde, but she was just dumb and stretched her chewie illywilly... nope, gave up right away. Then I ran into B. and Theatre.

- Hello. May I ask you for one dance in a year?

- How do I leave her?

- She thinks I don't exist, so she cannot mind you taking a few steps alone. Try another trick.

- It's almost the end of the song.

- There will be more. And, by the way, congratulations, you managed, first time in last six months, to speak more than seven words to me.

We shook hands on it. And then we danced. She's got perfect memory, she remembers everything I said, and when, and how the theatre with Theatre came to be, and when we met in the theatre, and times when she saw me and I didn't her, and a lot more.

- Just to make it clear, I want to be with you from the beginning.

- I know.

- And then why not? You had a thousand ways to make me walk away, yet you just said "don't torture me". Anyone else would say anything else. It was very strange, why the word. Initially you reminded me of another girl, but she failed to keep that, looks different now... in your eyes I see something telling me behind them there must be something...

- ...and you want to know what.

- there's that, curiosity is but a pretext. Then, why not? As far as I know, your answer is neither yes nor no.

- Correct.

- Is she the matter? You know, your nameless friend who thinks I don't exist.

- No.

- Then what's the reason?

- There's no reason.

- Next question: who's controling whom?

- Look at her.

Theatre spread her mouth into some kind of smile... well, at least that counts as an achievement. The fireworks began again, and we had a few minutes of invigorating verbal karate, and then... back to B.

-...and I've seen you in company of various frajers, but not one more than three times.

- You noticed that extraordinarily correctly.

- So there's no boyfriend. Now I would really like to hear a yes or a no, even if it ends the conversation.

It did. She kept the mysterious smile on, but she meant it. That was the end of it.

Epilogue just isn't there, our paths just split. I kept seeing them here and there until end of high school, afterwards not. B. I saw once in passing (or in a passage?), many years later, she looked even more sad. Around 2010. looked them up among the matricular albums for all three gimnazijas, and found her surname. Didn't like it at all.

Found her at parastos 2019 and specially thanked her for refusing me this evening, it turned out magnificently afterwards.

Theatre I never saw again. [did, 26-V-2024.]

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* "pa šta onda" - and so what; I said we had their name as a conversational trick, which I also employed in this sentence.

** she eventually married Gavra. It's an unpredictable world.

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Mentions: 10-II-1989., Plate gets hot, 25-V-2019., 26-V-2024., Branka, Dom omladine, Dragana Vitas (Dragana), frajer, Gavrilo Taroški (Gavra), gimnazija, Hazim Jabučin, IV₃, LML, maturski parastos (parastos), Milica Zubatović, Pa šta onda, Snežana Stojanović (Sneca), Trpeza, Vera Stojanović (Veca), Vilmoš Baranji (Vanji), Živorad G Ljubišić (ŽGLJ), in serbian

27-V-2007 - 10-VII-2026