This should count to close to a nervous breakdown. No special pretext, just causes. Accidentaly, on 19th, greetings from the Stones.
The school seems to be a bit too much. Why does the 2nd year have to be so much harder than the first? And then, still got no girlfriend - it would all be so much easier if I had one. On top of it, Tejka is probably worse off than I in terms of nerves, specially now that she's in a fight with Pišta, and all her negative energy rubs on me. We're deskmates, that's 14:00-19:05 every day except sunday. And when she's nervous, she just knows how to press few of my red buttons to make me as nervous or worse. Even on best of days, when I get to school, the good mood won't last longer than fourth class; for the last two I'm "nervous as a real grave".
At least they made up again in the following days, and that lessened the pressure on my nerves. Still, reading what I wrote then, how I'd be able to light a candle and stare into the flame for fifteen minutes, or other escapades... Dunno, whether I was trying to calm myself, or to act crazy to show myself that this is getting serious, or... who knows. I was getting a bit off kilter.
Dragana, however, was finding herself near me a few times, unexpectedly but quite near. A couple of times I'd just be listening to her spilling the beans, just making it easier on herself - once I was sitting, she was standing by me, we held hands while she was talking, at some point she squeezed my hand hard, I saw her almost faint, so this was to prevent her fall. Then she leaned over me to take something from Tejka and, ahem, that was very close to myself. I promised to myself that I'll get much closer some day.
Marko Bozon also moved me to sit in the first row on his classes, not so much as a punishment, but to be away from Tejka, we were too chatty.
23-XII-2020 - 10-XI-2025