2nd of october there was a sports day at gimnazija, it's the city liberation day so everything's off. Good fun. Tejka introduced me to Sp. from 2nd grade, who wanted to meet me, having heard so many stories about me. She was a prominent figure in many of the talks in the following year or two, but then looked like a carbon copy of her, or "sack found a patch", as the proverb goes. She always had some health problems, was close to a nervous breakdown, was unhappily in love... more of the same. We actually never were in the same company, not even sat at the same table. I just remember the name, and to some extent the face.
Dragana and Gradivoj have finally split. She fell in love with Sarča, seems to be a popular guy.
On 4th, a sunday, Duca, Dragana and Tejka came unanounced to just try the cigarettes that dad bought them in Hungary. He got me the rest of the stuff for the lab: the yellow light, the trays, even the vessels for in-box processing (one for 2x8mm, the other for negatives, though not with a spiral but with a plastic distancing tape, which never worked right, the tape was too stiff and pressed the film too tight, there would be bubbles where the developer wouldn't reach). They made my evening, my mood rapidly got better, I found inspiration to be even funnier than usual. Duca has new hairdress, with bangs, really cute. I'm warming up to her again.
There are too many guys having the same name as I - this male twin guy, Gradivoj, Sredljak (my deskmate, which led to a few confusing cases at school), and there was one more in the old class, and there's a third one in our class now. When someone mentions one by name, it's usually a non-starter, it must be specified which one, or it turns into a limp joke.
And that about Tejka being with Čeda - she just said it as a joke, didn't happen.
There was some dispute about couples who were first good friends for a long time, it's a no go for most of us, something doomed to not work, or at least feeling all wrong. Most just wouldn't or couldn't do it. Feels like a betrayal of friendship. Well, seems to be my problem, I always first want to know the girl and then we become friends and then, well, can't change that.
Janis Joplin also died. Just when her stuff started arriving, I remember this september I heard some newer version of the „Summertime“, with a much richer guitar intro. What's this, Hendrix the other day, now she...
Around 8th, there was a theatre show, but not in the theatre building but in komitet (of all places), of "Badger at the court". Aftewards I left with Duca and stayed for a while with her downtown, waiting for my bus. I suggested we walk, she said she's visiting her aunt. Tossed a coin, head walk, letter bus. Fell on the bus. So she left, and I didn't even ask where the aunt lived. The bus didn't come - it was probably after 21, which was really a toss up then, any bus crossing downtown after that will not return, but will go to garage when it reaches the other end. Sometimes they'd just not wait for the exact time, so that last pass could be ten or fifteen minutes before schedule. So I walked home alone.
Tenth, after coming home from a haircut (wow, so soon after the last one), found Duca, Dragana and Tejka visiting. Dad: "how do you feel in gimnazija?", Dragana: "like a (fucked) canary in a draft" (the parenthesized part was common in the slang version of the proverb).
Tejka was shooting the piano player. That is, asked me to play this, that (mostly the sentiš by Kićo Slabinac), then "Hair" but asked for the last song (wow, all of a sudden) but I didn't want to risk damaging the record so played it from the start. She tried to sing, all wong pitch and mostly wrong melody, then sang some fake russian (probably "Those were the days")... generally pissed me off, so I lifted the needle, turned off the radio and said "OK, you can sing now". After five seconds of silent exchange of thunderous looks, I said "just can't stand two things at the same time". Dragana: "you really can't... two at a time?". "Nope, just can't listen to".
On 18th, Dragana asked me "do you like Tejka?". Short pause... "That's past". "Past?". "Had you asked me five months ago, I may have said something nice. Last two or three months I can barely stand her." "So it means I noticed well". "Yes you did, and it's too late - now there's no way I'd have anyhting with her". In her eyes I could see the "so that's how you see things now". And I don't care whether she'll tell her, or did she ask on her own or Tejka asked her to.
Now this could mean anything, but at least they're considering me in some way, as a normal guy, with feelings and attitude to be taken into account.
Thereabouts Slavko started building the school choir. This was just the beginning, this choir will be an institution in the future. He picked Siške and me, lacking basses, and we sounded the closest. He actually is a bass voice, while I'm all over the place. We lasted about two rehearsals, and then he kicked us out for being tin ears. Which I'm not - I heard myself hit the wrong pitch perfectly well. I just can't control my pitch, it's not obeying my mental commands.
During these two rehearsals, I was mostly standing in the back with Tejka, mocking around. Which confused Sarča a lot, he actually came around to ask whether we were a couple. When he got a quick, synchronized and unrehearsed "no" from both of us, he looked quite stupid for a while.
Around 24th I thought I fell in love with a cute little girl from the first row. Few weeks later it turned out it was just a good hair job, short bangs and narrower frame on the temples... she vanished from the landscape soon.
On 25th I was kind of feverish, had a bit of a flu so I fell asleep on the kitchen couch, and at some point a cold hand is patting me on the cheek to get up. I removed the hand but it came back... so it took Duca about three minutes to wake me up. The other two were there too. I cracked a few revolutionary jokes while pretending to be still half asleep. Then it was the same sitting as it ever was. Upon leaving, Tejka forgot her pack of Morava, and came back to retrieve it, saying "now I jinxed myself, something's going to happen". True, returning from the gate was supposed to bring you bad luck. And there it was - she slipped on the treshhold (yup, double aitch again!), banged her butt on the concrete and slammed her own head with the umbrella. The spectacle was complete.
At some point early in the month, "Trap for eight helpless women" was in the theatre (I wrote this next month, by memory), and the whole gang was on the upper gallery - Miljka, Džok, Sarča, Duca, Dragana, Tejka and I. The first two, being a couple, set separately, and the other guy would make some "oh boy" sounds every few minutes. On the way back, Džok said he won't kill him for two reasons - first, he'd be responsible as if he killed a person, second, he's rarely such an ass, he's usually a horse.
Was that the time when I passed my hand over the partition and kept it on Dragana's knee for half an hour? I remember it happened, but then nobody knows and she never mentioned it, so... as if it didn't happen. I didn't dare move it, though.
23-XII-2020 - 10-XI-2025