A string of fake (translators') pearls

What is this?
Many a natural pearl of wisdom is mislaid as lost in translation. The translators cultivate them in their shells, and then take a lot of pain to publish them.

The breeders often insert grains into shells, so the pearl forms around them. Such grains are presented here, hoping to inspire the translators to grow even larger ones. So here are the intentionally bad translations, based mostly on ignoring the context. Other dirty tricks are not off the table.

The translation back into English is often much longer. This is to avoid going back to the (oh, so) original word, so a description is used to denote its meaning in the shifted context.
4-IX-2011 - 26-III-2026 go home  
English
can be translated to Serbian as
...and than translated back as
I hope she works out
I hope she'll fit in at the new job
I hope she's visiting the gym
I hope she'll be working outside
I'll be leaving this evening
I'll leave tonight
I'll leave this evening somewhere, hope to find it when I return
he clinked glasses with her
they two clinked their cups
he used her to clink the glasses
he wielded her to clink spectacles with
as long as you're smiling
doklegod se smešiš
for the duration of your smiling
dugačak koliko i tvoj osmeh
same length as your smile
comic relief
strip reljef
smešan reljef
funny frieze
each other
svaki drugi
every second
master: Bruce Springsteen has sold his masters
Brus Springstin je uvalio svojim učiteljima
Bruce Springsteen has convinced his teachers
big deal
jaka stvar
strong thing
veći deo
majority
velika pogodba
large negotiation
veliko deljenje
big division; big hand of cards
pawn shop
pešačka radionica
pedestrian workshop
dućan za pione
retail outlet for those who keep loosing pawns from their chess sets
for the time being
za vremensko biće
for the temporal entity
that being said
to biće je reklo
that creature uttered
great game
velika utakmica
large competition
ogromna divljač
huge wildlife
you got me wrong
dobio si me pogrešnog
you received an erroneous me