31-XII-1970.
The 2nd doček at my place, with lots of repeats from the previous year.
In the beginning, Duca was in good mood, and Tejka her usual nervous self, Eči on level, Džok okay. That's while we made sandwiches. Let's see the list of guests - apart from them, Rencika, the K. sisters, Miljka, Bosa with her sister, Vladimira's girlfriend, Gradivoj, Patak, Ž. twins, Zvojko, Š. (that guy who'll stand between Dragana and Gradivoj), B., S. Beštara came with another guy around 23:00, Čeda and another guy around 1, two guys from the last year's gang (from VIII2) also around 1.
During the preparations and first hour or two I was with Duca, danced, feeling fine with the usual dose of uncertainty and unease. She wasn't any colder than usual, maybe just a bit distanced. I did expect more, though, this is a doček, we are relaxed and would do what we otherwise wouldn't. So I asked her, simply, does she love me. She didn't answer, just lowered her head into her hands and started crying. No tears, just silence. "If it's a yes or no, say so, if you won't say, say you won't, if you can't, say you can't." "I can't tell you". "I'm okay with that much, you don't have to say anything else". Then soon Beštara came with his friend. He found her right away, stood with her on the side, they talked and talked and I went off to sit in the chair where Patak was asleep just until a minute ago. Waited for the outcome of that talk. Got fed up with waiting, saw them gone, clothes included.
Tejka said I should have expected that. "She wouldn't tell you, wanted you to see for yourself."
One of the Ž. twins said he slapped her, for herself, and so should I if I'm a man, for myself. "If you don't do that now, she'll do that again and again until she goes down." I almost slapped him. And he did have to mention how he was with her before, taught her embrace and kiss (and I've already heard more). I didn't like reiterating that patriarchal bullshit, the dual moral, the perpetuation of shit.
She returned shortly before midnight. I met her, said I'm not mad, she just smiled and said nothing. Later we did talk, well mostly I did, but in the end I asked her "you could said a no, you had lots of chance, but you didn't... may I say that now?" "you may, if you wish", "okay, then, where did we go wrong? was it anything that I did?", "no, you were not the reason, it was all good from your side."
And that was it. I found it ironic that we talked openly, for the first time, after it was all over. I actually couldn't believe that the parting could be so nice and friendly. No final kiss, though (Kićo Slabinac).
Patak got done again, just like last year, but this time we were ready, Džok had the microphone and tape ready, and when it came to „is there anything left to drink around here?“, they concocted a mix of all possible leftovers put together, which is allegedly a guaranteed recipe to get you under the table. And he drank that, went outside into the yard to puke, came back, the guys opened the doors to air the space and turned on the lights to see to clean up a bit, and he went on to talk bullshit, incoherent. The diary entry begins with two pages of his drunken ramblings about the camping on the river* this summer, girls and everything. Taken verbatim from the tape, as Džok was ready with that tape recorder. There was no music on it, it's a new type, with cassettes, something like super 8 cassette but with two axles so it can be turned around and then it uses the other side. Make that four pages... boy, was he drunk. Eči: „the frogs felt like having a fuck“. He eventually fainted, and they let him sleep some half an hour (see photo), then pulled him up and walked im out. Eventually when the freeze woke him up, they let him put on the coat and walk home with them.
On 2nd, Tejka explained that "Duca didn't have the heart to refuse you. You've done nothing wrong, you just came in at the wrong time. You didn't know the situation.". Mmmm yeah right, and Beštara came at the right time. And now I know too much so he's fine because he knows even less. Case closed. Then "how did you feel when you saw them?" - "shaken" - "that's why you sat right away" - "um, no, I waited for the outcome. Just like waiting for a bus.". In that sense, I feel like the bus just passed by. She said "forget, forget her, forget what happened". "Nothing happened to me, nothing to forget".
Dragana didn't come, so Gradivoj had a grab, if not a fuck, with Bosa's sister. Which is possible, there were dark corners, but then nobody will ever know how much of that really happened and how much is pure confabulation. There was a problem with Dragana later, for having told at home that she'd be here but actually went somewhere else, and her sister was already working, at the same factory as my dad, so they once met during lunch hour within a month after the event, and dad blurted how it's „too bad Dragana wasn't there, I think they had a really good time“. Sister solved the issue with her quietly, giving her the scrubbing alone, and then decided not to escalate the issue, i.e. parents never knew.
Speaking of the factory mess hall, dad stayed on this double lunch regime for decades to come, until retirement. He'd have some breakfast or not, but around noon there was this hefty lunch at work, then another lunch at home, around 14:30. Their cook and mom often shared the wavelength, but dad didn't mind if it was beans both times, he'd just eat the same thing twice. His weight was stable, between 104 and 109.
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* not anyone favorite fishing spot, in the lower flow of Tisa the distance between the first and second levee is between 50 and 200m, it's a spillover buffer area, so it's either a swamp or a jungle, rich with moskitoes.
Mentions: Bosiljka Šain (Bosa), Čeda Jarbol, doček, Dragana Vitas (Dragana), Dušica Tošin (Duca), Eči, Emerencija Nerdelji (Rencika), Gradivoj Čović, Milovan Sebešćen (Beštara), Patak, Sima Veljin (Džok), Slavica Tejin (Tejka), Smiljka Grajin (Miljka), VIII2, Vladimira Brkljević, Zvonko Darišić (Zvojko), in serbian
16-XI-2008 - 14-I-2026