How to understand Serbian phrases

What is this?
To understand Serbian (Croatian and other ex-Yu languages), knowing the grammar, orthography and words just isn't enough. There are many phrases which come from cult movies, comic books or, most often, jokes.There are maybe a dozen such cult movies, a few comics (actually, one: Alan Ford) and a thousand jokes.I'll try to make a vocabulary of such phrases, along with the oldest version I can dig out of the joke where it originates. For the comics and movies, I'm not sure how much of YouTube links I can find. Any help is welcome - send them to drfairday chr(64) geemail period com.
20-XI-2011 - 4-VIII-2023 go home  
Phrase
Meaning and notes
Source
Translation
tko vrijedi, leti
tko leti, vrijedi
tko ne leti, ne vrijedi
who flies, is worthy
who is worthy, flies
who doesn't fly, isn't worthy
Another one from Grunf... mostly pointless and irrelevant, so it is quoted when someone says something that's true but useless.
From the italian original:
chi vola, vale
chi vale, vola
chi non vola, e vile
tri četr sad
three four now
The common cue to start something on it, whatever two or more people should do synchronously. Usually there's a second's distance between the words.
We can only assume this used to be counted from one to five, and was shortened to this. Nobody remembers any other way, and everyone knows this way. No explanation, no source.
šta ćito, odo!
what [do you mean] read [it], walked [over it]!
[whenever you want to say you have more than indirect experience on the matter]
- Mujo, jesi ćito "Na Drini ćupriju"
- Šta ćito, odo po njoj!
- Mujo, did you read "The bridge over Drina"?
- What, read? Walked on it!
samo tetki da odnesem lek
just let me take the medicine to my aunt
There's always a fresh one of this
This is from "Balkan express". It begins around 0:55, when the Gestapo guy turns his attention to Bora Todorović, who first confirms he's a musician, then denies it, then...
popiti štiklu
popiti nogu
to drink a [high] heel
to drink a leg
što se ranije zvalo "šut karta", tj noga u dupe; ukratko, dobiti odbijenicu/odjebenicu
Previously this was called "kick ticket", i.e. kick in the ass. To be refused or just told to fuck off. The high heel version is when coming from a lady.
pominjanje šumara
mentioning the forester
whenever a dispute is not quite serious or is a fake fight, someone will mention that the forester should/will/may come.
"I tako mi udri odovud, Nemci odonud. Juriš mi, pa juriš oni, pa tako ceo dan.""I kako se to završilo?""Došao šumar i rasterao nas."
"And so we hit from this side, and Germans from the other, then we charged and then they charged and it took all day."
"And how did it finish?"
"The forester came and ran as all out."
pali, ide
starts, goesSaid about anything that just works, no bells nor whistles.
Iz malog oglasa, negde iz '92: "Na prodaju fića, 260 DEM. Pali, ide."
A classified ad from about 1992: "Fića on sale, 260DEM. Starts, goes."
That would be about 130€ or $175. Fića was the national small car, made by Zastava until about 1981, derived from Fiat 600, long before they made the Yugo.
odlikaši, sine, odlikaši.
A students, son, A students.
Said to onyone ogling a sexy girl, or complaining about school, having bad grades.
Sin donese knjižicu sa dosta kečeva. Otac ga odvede na ribanje.
- Jel' pušiš?
- Ma jok, ponekad jednu-dve sa društvom.
- Šta pušiš?
- Nišku "moravu".
- Izem ti nivo. Evo ti mali Bora, na, zapali. Piješ?
- Nee... ponekad na žurci, jedno pivo.
- Pivo? Evo ti viski, popi bre. Jel' gledaš ribe?
- Pa ono, malo iz "Starta".
- "Starta"? Joj, ko te napravi. Drž ovaj "Plejboj". Otvori duplericu.
- Auu... ko jebe ove slatkiše?
- Odlikaši, sine, odlikaši.
Son brings lots of bad grades from school. Dad takes him to some rubbing.
- Do you smoke?
- No. Well, one or two sometimes.
- And what do you smoke?
- "Morava" from Niš.
- Some level. Here, take a mali Bora (Marlboro). Do you drink?
- Nooo... sometimes, at a party, one beer.
- Beer? Here's a whisky, have one. Are you looking up chicks?
- Well, some, a little, from "Start" [magazine].
- "Start"? Ouch, who made you... Grab this "Playboy". Open the centerfold.
- Whoa... who fucks these cookies?
- A students, son, A students.
nema ni bicikl
doesn't even have a bicycle
Zaustavi pajkan Muju i krene da mu proverava biciklO - ni zvonceta, ni svetla, ni mačjeg oka, ni kočnica...
- Pa tebi sve fali! Ovo ima da bude poprilična kazna. Šta se smeješ?
- Saće naić' Haso, on nema ni biciklo. Koliko ćeš tek njemu da naplatiš...
A cop pulls Mujo over and starts going over his bicycle - no bell, no light, no rear light, no brakes...
- That's quite a list, it's going to cost you a big fine. Why are you laughing?
- Haso is coming behind me, and he doesn't even have a bicycle. Just thinkin' how much will you charge him...
na kanal!
on the channel!said to anyone looking for a free expert advice or technical help
Žalio se jedan da mu je kamilac spor. Ode kod majstora, ovaj kaže "na kanal"... nateraju kamilca na kanal, a ovaj uzme dve cigle i raspali kamilca po mudima. Kamilac zaždi sprintom a ovaj će "a kako sad da ga stignem?". "Na kanal!".
Channel in this context is the pit under the car where the mechanic works, as in the case of the slow camel, where the fix was to get the animal "on the channel", and to have its balls hit by two bricks from each side. The camel sprinted away, and its owner asked "how do I get to it now?". "On the channel!".
ne talasaj
don't make waves
May be said to anyone who may disturb the political status quo, no matter how small the politics.
Stigao jedan u pakao i tamo ga strpaju u bazen s govnima, dubok tačno do usta. Kaže on susedima "čuj, pa ovo i nije tako loše, kako sam se bojao". Odgovor: "Ne talasaj"
A guy arrives to hell and gets to stand in a pool of shit, deep exactly to the mouth. He comments to his neighbors: "hey, this isn't as bad as I feared".Answer: "Don't make waves!".
krenula me karta
my cards started going well
Googling the phrase returned 1,2 million hits. So I didn't have to retype the joke from memory :)
Haso otišao u Englesku da zaradi malo para, te se uskoro stvarno vrati s puno para. Pita ga Mujo kako je zaradio tolike pare.
- Pa kartao sam poker, kaže Haso.
- Ali ti slabo kartaš poker!
- Ma u prvoj partiji, kad sam tražio da vidim karte od onoga što je rekao da ima poker, on mi je odgovorio da se kod njih igra na savjest i poštenje. E, od tada je mene krenula karta!!!
Haso went to England to make some cash, and soon really returned with lot of money. Mujo asks how did he earn so much money.
- Well I played poker, says Haso.
- But you play poker badly!
- In the first game I asked to see the hand of the guy who said he had a royal flush, and he answered that they play by consciousness and honesty. Then my cards started going well!!!
hrani svinje i ne diraj ništa
feed the pigs and don't touch anything(actually, the joke is already at Feed the pigs as a programming joke.
This is usually said to anyone who's messing with machinery and shouldn't, or to describe the machinery as maintenance-free.
Lansirali Muju u orbitu sa tri svinje. Nakon nekoliko krugova oko Zemlje, zvoni neko zvonce, svinje otvaraju fijoku, vade koverat, otvaraju, nalaze unutra uputstva, i krenu da postupaju kako piše. Preprogramiraju računar, koriguju orbitu, proveravaju instrumente.Nekoliko krugova kasnije, opet isto - otvaraju fijoku, vade naredni koverat, čitaju uputstva, rade kako piše: preprogramiraju računar, koriguju orbitu, proveravaju instrumente itd.
Pita se Mujo, ko je bre ovde šef? Ko je viši oblik života?Na sledeće zvono, skoči on prvi do fijoke, otvara koverat, a uputstvo kaže:
"Mujo, hrani svinje i ne diraj ništa".
Once they launched Mujo into orbit with three pigs. After a few orbits around the Earth, a certain bell rings. The pigs open up a compartment, take out an envelope, unwrap it, find instructions inside, and start doing as they read: reprogram the ship's computer, adjust the orbit, check the scientific instruments etc.Few orbits later, the same happens - they open up a compartment, take out another envelope, read the instructions, do as it says: reprogram the computer, adjust the orbit, check the instruments etc.The guy starts wondering - like, who's the boss around here? Who's the more advanced life form?
Next time the bell rang, he jumps to the compartment, opens the envelope, and the instructions read: "This is for you, Mujo: feed the pigs and don't touch anything"